50 Days Before My Suicide

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My best friend and I went to see him the night before and he was doing great. They were going to send him home in a couple of days. The last thing I said was ' I love you, dad, just don't die while I'm gone!' He laughed and said he wasn't going to do that. 2 days later, I woke up in my hotel room to someone pounding on my door at 5 am. Apparently Rebecca and my Mother had an explosive fight a few days before my Mother committed suicide. My mom was trying to get clean and she was about to get back together with our father (my step-father anyway) and move in three houses down. Rebecca told her it didn't matter because she was a terrible Mother and she would never, never forgive. Click to read more about 50 days before my suicide by Stace Kramer. LibraryThing is a cataloging and social networking site for booklovers. 50 Days Before My Suicide 93 Reads 0 Votes 2 Part Story. By ananastik1516 Ongoing - Updated Apr 17, 2016 Embed Story Share via Email Read New Reading List.

Linda is a wonderful person who lost her son David to suicide.

She is struggling with severe clinical depression and suicidal thoughts and has written an article describing how she feels.

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If you feel – or have ever felt – some of these feelings too, you are not alone.

But please understand that there is HOPE.

Coping with a suicide is extremely difficult and the healing process can take a long time. But please know that YOU WILL get through the process.

Your life WILL improve. Things WILL get better. But please get help. Get into therapy. Talk with friends. And always reach out for help when you need it…ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS reach out for help when you need it.

WARNING: Please be advised that this article will be disturbing to some readers. Linda talks about the despair that she is feeling and expresses some powerful emotions. Discretion is advised.

And please keep in mind that Linda is fighting severe clinical depression and suicidal feelings but is getting help, including therapy, and is making progress.

I love you Linda and I will do everything that I can to help you for the rest of your life. You are an amazing person and you WILL get through this.

I am honored to be your friend,

Kevin Caruso

My Life is Over: My Feelings of Despair After My Son’s Suicide

by Linda (David’s mom) and Kevin Caruso

I don’t know if I will make it through this life. I don’t know anymore. Every day I wake up and I am confused, depressed, and angry. I will never be the same and I keep wishing I was dead. I lost my son to suicide and now I am nothing. I am an empty shell. I am worthless. I am a criminal. I hate myself. I really, really hate myself. I am scum. Put me in prison and throw away the key. I killed David. I killed him. My brain does not even function properly any longer. I feel like I am barely alive. I am numb. Always numb. Every second of every day I am numb. Why go on? The point would be what? What in the hell is the point? I do not want to leave my house. I do not want to leave my bed. I will hide from the world – this world that I now hate. I wish I was never born. The world would have been a better place without me.

I was beaten up on a regular basis by my boyfriend. Now he is gone. I never loved him. He is a loser. I don’t even know where he is. But so what? I don’t even know who he is. I don’t even know who I am. But I deserved to be beaten up. I should be kicked over and over and slapped and punched and spat upon. Throw me into the pit of hell. I am worthless. No one loves me anyways. So death is knocking at my door and I am going to answer. Ha Ha. I think it is funny now. I am a funny person. I will be on television and in the movies and will go on tour and be a famous person. Ha Ha Ha. I can make people laugh because I am nuts. I am. I am. Ha Ha. Laughing at me not with me. Do you know that people laugh at me? That is because I am a lunatic. Look at that lady! Her son committed suicide! Her son was crazy and she is crazy too! They are nut cases. Ha Ha. And yes I do know that I am nuts. A real nut job. So I will laugh with them. Nut case. Nut case. That is me. Suicide. Death. And a lunatic woman. Nut case. Nut case. This world is a joke. What do we live for? There is no God. There is no Heaven. Those are stupid stories that someone made up. There is only pain, hate, evil, death, destruction, lies, and more crap like that. We live in a cesspool. Welcome to the world. Welcome to my world. But there is a hell. I know there is a hell. There is no Heaven, but there is a hell. I am sure of it, because I am in it. Would you like to climb down from your tower and join me? Come in and see what hell is like. Come down you people who are so happy. Come down from your towers. You have never experienced pain. Stop smiling and saying how great your lives are. Stop it and feel what I feel. Wait until you feel this. And then you will know what hell is.

So now what am I supposed to do? I cannot think straight. My mind jumps. Thoughts race. I cannot control this crap that is in my head. I could not find David. And then I found him hanging from a rope in our garage. Take this out of my head. Take it away from me. I can’t stop seeing that. I see pictures of death in my head. I think of horrible things that happened to me. I have lost the battle with my mind. It has won and now it controls me. It tells me that I am a loser all day long. It talks to me. It shows me slide shows from hell. I don’t want to see them. I don’t want to watch, but my mind makes me watch. So I am crazy now. Ropes and ropes. I don’t want to see any more ropes. But I will see a rope when I hang myself. Because I will commit suicide.

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Do I move to another city or state now? Where to? My hell will come with me. So where am I supposed to move to? I cannot run away. My mind is with me all of the time. So I am trapped. I have lost my mind and it is all over. It is all over and the darkness has pulled me in. Why has all of this happened to me? I don’t know but I will never get out of bed and I will rot to death. That is what I deserve. My life is over.

-------------------------------------

If you are suicidal, immediate action is required; so please read the information on the home page of this website and take action.

Thank you,

Kevin Caruso

The work presents the history of the 16-year-old girl, it is said about the world around her. The main character of the story, Gloria McFinn, is an ordinary teenager. She, like everyone else, goes to school, spends a lot of time on the Internet, and draws well. However, at some point the girl realizes that she wants to commit suicide. Gloria decides to give herself 50 days to find the reasons why life is worth.

Many adults now probably thought that this is an ordinary teenage quirk. But in fact, everything is not so simple. Gloria had to face many problems. Divorce of parents for whom she is a burden, problems in her personal life, betrayal of her best friend – all this fell to her lot.

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50 Days Before My Suicide Gloria And Alex

Of course, you will say that all this will pass sooner or later, that you need to

live further. Indeed, this is so. However, for teenagers, a little stupid, still not independent, unable to cope alone with all the ills, to withstand all this is very difficult. After all, many of you probably visited someday the idea of ​​suicide because of the many problems that were piling up. Such a moment at least once attacked almost everyone. So, in Gloria, a 16-year-old teenager, it happened. By the way, our heroine is a modest girl who did not have much popularity in school and did not, in general, stand out from the crowd.
The beginning of the misfortunes that fell to the share of Gloria

The problems of the girl began after her father changed her mother, who in revenge changed him. They practically stopped talking and were going to get divorced. In addition, Gloria fell in love with Matt, the best friend’s boyfriend. She was constantly beside them and she had to watch the ostentatious love of Teaser and Matt. It was very frustrating girl.

Continuation of trouble
50 Days Before My Suicide

However, these events are only the beginning of the misfortunes that have fallen to her lot. Further, Gloria barely managed to avoid rape. Her best friend fell in love with a guy who was interested in Gloria, and Matt finally began to pay attention to the main character. However, the graduation party is ruining everything. On

it, Gloria quarrels with Teaser, Matt leaves her, and she herself is deprived of virginity with a “botan” from her class. And in the family of the girl the atmosphere is gradually heated. With her consent, the mother decides to go to a psychiatric hospital for treatment. And the father brings home the teacher, whom the main character hates.
Gloria nerves can not stand

Gloria, basking in her thoughts that everything will soon be all right, that it remains only to suffer a little, decides to radically change her life. She quarrels with Teaser even more, defending Rebecca, a brand-new girl in the class. However, at one point, her nerves finally give up. In the end, the girl decides to quit school. It happened after the betrayal of a friend. After that the main heroine of the work “50 days before my suicide” decided to radically change its appearance. The content of further events is obvious – together with the change in appearance, life must change, as it happens.

The Abduction

Together with Rebecca, she finds herself in a van of musicians, who takes them from Florida. The girls at first thought that they had been kidnapped, but then they realized that this was a good event in their life, in which new colors were simply added.

A new life and a new disappointment

So, this adventure is involved, too, Rebecca, Gloria’s new girlfriend. This girl, frankly, is essentially a nun. But for Gloria and Rebecca a new life begins. Together with Steve, Alex and Jay they travel around the world. The guys get into various troubles, after which they begin to love life. Gloria in Steve’s face finds something more than just a friend. However, at a time when her life is improving, misfortunes are again falling on her head. Rebecca dies while the police take the children. Gloria returns home. She has to part with her friends, whom she has grown very fond of. For all the acts committed by Gloria, she faces a prison. The girl again disappointed in life. She firmly decides to commit suicide.

Gloria does not give up

It seems that the girl finally lost her taste for life and will certainly commit suicide. Moreover, returning home does not bring her joy. However, knowing now the price of life, she decides to start all over again. And this succeeds Gloria from “50 days before my suicide.” The author completes his work with a life-affirming note.

Advantages and disadvantages of the work

According to the readers’ feedback, the product deserves about 8 points out of 10. Two of them can be taken away for the excess of tear-stained scenes and the lame literacy “50 days before my suicide.” Quotations from it nevertheless already with might and main walk on expanses of the Internet, and the book becomes more and more popular. In general, many believe that this is a real masterpiece.

Of course, the plot of it is not very believable (although, if you think, life happens and not that), but after reading it, many discover something for themselves. Of course, it’s not that there is no meaning in life, not this. The prisoners in the work of thought are really smart. It is thanks to this that the book “50 days before my suicide” is interesting. Quotations from her are sometimes very witty. “Youth is given to us for mistakes and crazy acts,” the author notes. Thanks to all this, in old age we become wiser and calmer. The experience is important for us to teach our children something. This thought, of course, is not stupid.

It should be noted that the work is written by a teenager and is intended for teenagers, which in itself is a huge plus. The fact that representatives of the same generation understand each other better is obvious. Numerous reviews indicate that the work “50 days before my suicide” is very exciting. Briefly describing their attitude towards him, many write that they read this book in such a way that they lost track of time. The author can not be denied the ability to captivate the reader.

Is it just for teenagers that the work “50 days before my suicide” will be interesting?

The testimonies testify that this book was enthusiastically received not only by the young generation, but also by mature people. This is very revealing. In the book, many have reflected their own fears and fears, which they had to face in their youth. In this period it seems that the problems that fall on us are individual. However, many of us experienced similar events. The book allows you to do it again.

Related artworks

50 Days Before My Suicide Movie

It is rather difficult to find works that look like “50 days before my suicide.” The testimonies indicate that some resemblance to the book of Stace Kramer can be found in Steven Chbosky’s “It’s Good to Be Quiet”, Laurie Anderson’s “Speak,” and also in the books of John Green and Anna Gavalda. However, they still differ in many respects from the work “50 days before my suicide.” Similar books are not easy to find. It is clear that the author did not focus on other writers, but went her own way. Therefore, the book “50 days before my suicide” can be considered a unique creation. The reviews of her numerous admirers allow us to say that it is worth reading, especially if you are a teenager who has had to face similar problems.

50 Days Before My Suicide Story


50 Days Before My Suicide Gloria And Alex

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50 Days Before My Suicide Stace Kramer

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